December 2009
4 posts
Jaw Problems
E: there's something wrong with my jaw
James: Does it keep flapping about with a noise called English coming out of it?
Naive and Stubborn
James: This is quite the Twilight Zone moment.
Girl: No no, it's just called Twilight.
James: Oh no, I mean the TV show.
Girl: It was a film, not a TV show.
James: I'm not talking about the book adaptation with vampires. I'm talking about an American TV show back in the 60's.
Girl: Book adaptation? Stop fucking with me, and TV didn't exist in the 60's you lying bastard.
The Bar in the Shadow of the Universe
L: I'll take two spades to go and a surreality chaser.
James: Sorry, you've missed our breakfast period
L: It's alright. I'm not staying. I only want the drink.
James: Fine, some revenge with your drink?
L: No thanks. Don't want my teeth to freeze.
James: We're having a special offer today, if you trade in an arm and a leg your drink won't be lethal
L: Jolly good! Thats rather cheep! All the other bars cost two legs and an arm.
Contempt
L: You are piggybacking someones internet?
James: it seems so
James: I'm enjoying it
L: It's like piggybacking a person. But digitally.
L: Less lube
James: indeed, hence the term piggybacking
James: lets not ponder about the lube
L: It could be a national sport.
L: Lube pondering.
James: I have no intent to take part
L: Oh you're no fun. :P
James: I am, just in different ways
L: ways that don't involve lubricant.
L: Or piggybacking.
James: I'll leave you to do my share of that stuff
L: So kind of you.
James: quite
L: You didn't say about inflicting my share on you in joke form however.
James: hmm?
L: Of piggybacking.. and lubricant.
James: ah
James: quite right
James: I'm just trying to shove the image out of my head as fast as I can
L: Sure you mean shove?
L: Wouldn't persuade be a better word.
James: perhaps I should arm myself with a spade next time I see you
L: For what purpose?
James: self defence
L: Against?
James: you
L: Maybe.. I can be dangerous in large doses.
James: you freak me out quite well
L: Because I'm so twisted?
James: in the head, yes..
James: not too sure about physically
L: Be glad there aren't more like me.
James: I'm sure there are
James: I've just managed to fend them off/ignore them
L: No no.. there is just me.. I've killed the rest.
James: that explains why I've been having so much free time lately
L: Less twisted people badgering you?
James: just the irish
L: Ah now they are twisted physically.
L: Too much dancing.
James: you have a point
L: Anyway, re your twisted point. I'm sure you know others like me..Plenty of them at hesfes.
James: true but at this point in time, they're not on several hundred light pixels infront of me
L: Unlike me?
James: correct
L: I'm sure we can fix that problem.. you can acquire their emails when you see them.
James: I think that's the wrong approach to this 'problem'
L: Oh what is your approach?
James: wishing that I outlive you
James: with the help of this spade...
James: *weilds spade*
James: sholdn't be much of a problem
L: You're introducing it artificially to the system. Clever.
James: Yeah, I thought so
James: this presents you with a problem though
L: It does?
L: How to avoid the mad spade murderer?
James: As with many people, you have a weakness to spaces coming at you with a great speed and power
James: correct
James: and ofcourse, I meant to say spades
L: You did. Clearly a Freudian slip there
James: It could have been worse so I am relieved I did not mention any genitalia
L: Would you believe me if i said a spade was a part of the anatomy?
James: It'll be part of your anatomy soon enough